Amusing Ourselves to Death: A Call for Embodied Relationships.


This past semester, I took a course called The Bible and Pastoral Care. The aim of the course was to discuss how the Bible impacts (you guessed it) the way we care for people. One of the things I spent a lot of time considering throughout the course is the need for relationships, specifically in-person relationships. As I had the chance to study what the Bible teaches about friendships, one thing stood out to me over and over: in-person relationships are essential if you and I are to grow into the image of Christ.

In this article, I hope not only to show you that relationships are important but to go one step further and show you why in-person relationships are important.

Perhaps you hear that and think, “Well, that sounds reasonable enough.” We live in a world that pursues friendship and connection more than ever. It’s unlikely that you will find a person who thinks the idea of relationships is bad. In fact, most people would argue that friendships are critical for a person’s mental and spiritual health.

In other words, the issue is not so much with how we think but how we live. Something about our rhythms and habits seems to work against the cultivation of vibrant, thriving relationships. We all know that relationships are good, but few people experience the joy of being intimately known and deeply loved.

Now, let me tell you something that you probably already know — technology (specifically the smartphone) often works against, not in favor of, vibrant relationships. It may seem paradoxical, but we live in a world that is more connected than ever and struggling to develop meaningful relationships more than ever. We are connected with everyone and (at times) close to no one. The number of people who admit loneliness is higher than ever in a world where we can seamlessly call or text a person anywhere in the world.

What about technology (that has such a robust ability to connect) leads to such profound disconnection?

A cursory overview of a few critical innovations in our country and their impact on society will reveal the answer. What follows is a brief overview of some major shifts that have taken with regard to technology.

Amusing Ourselves to Death.

Some of the most rapid technological advances in human history have taken place within the past one hundred years. More specifically, the invention of the internet set in motion a cultural climate full of innovative potential. Those who were alive to see and experience pre-internet life know well that today's world looks very different than even twenty years ago. Many authors have aptly shown the impact of these technological changes on society. In his book Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman traces the historical shift in politics, journalism, education, and religion through technological advancements in America. [1] He shows that society has become an entertainment culture largely due to the changing methods of communication. Before the telegraph, information was limited by distance and speed. The reason is because most long-distance communication was delivered by horse and then eventually by train. Therefore, information could only travel as fast or far as the most advanced means of transportation. However, with the invention of the telegraph, it seemed as if time and distance were erased. A person could communicate “instantaneously” with another person across the country. Seventy years later, the television was invented, and in 1958, the first broadcast from space was completed successfully. Postman, writing in 1985, explains the implications of these advances. He writes, “Once a technology is admitted, it plays out its hand; it does what it is designed to do. Our task is to understand what that design is – that is to say, when we admit a new technology to the culture, we must do so with our eyes wide open.” [2] It is easy to think of technology as simply adding positive benefits to the world. Furthermore, it is easy to forget that every new technology introduces both intended and unintended consequences. No technology is completely neutral. Each technology comes “factory ready” with implications that often go unseen by the user. Or, to use Marshall McLuhan’s famous line, “The medium is the message.” [3] In other words, the method one uses to communicate a message directly influences how that message is perceived. Postman and McLuhan write extensively about the implications of technology on people. Their observations are consequential for both society and the church since they elucidate the way technology often impacts people in ways that go unnoticed by the individual.

Barna Group has conducted extensive research on the implications of technology for the church. It may come as a surprise, but professing Christians are impacted in nearly identical ways to the rest of society regarding technology. Research indicates that “the typical young person spends nearly 20 times more hours per year using screen-driven media than taking in spiritual content.” [4] The data is slightly more encouraging for the regular churchgoer. However, research shows that the hours per year using screen-driven media is still ten times higher than the time spent taking in spiritual content. [5] In the same study, Barna Group discovered that between 2011 and 2019 “the percentage of young-adult dropouts has increased from 59 to 64 percent.” [6] While many contributing factors exist, Barna Group points to the expansive growth of technology in our culture. They have referred to our current culture as “digital Babylon” and describe it as marked by “unlimited access, profound alienation, and a crisis of authority.” [7] They write, “Youth group used to serve as a main social outlet for teens, but it is being replaced by sports and social media.” [8] In the face of these rapid changes, many churches are working hard to stay adaptable. That is because the call of Jesus to make disciples is no less applicable in “digital Babylon” than when Jesus first spoke the commission to his disciples. The church must find ways to communicate the gospel's timeless truth to a rapidly changing culture. While the range of ministry philosophies is nearly as expansive as the number of churches, it holds true that “digital Babylon” is the present ministry context. On the one hand, this means that those who embrace technology freely must remember that “the medium is the message.” [9] It is reductionistic to assume that the medium used to communicate a message has no implication on the message itself. [10] Neil Postman makes this point clear when he writes that “a medium has the power to fly far beyond that context into new and unexpected ones.” [11] On the other hand, Jesus’ command to make disciples demands that we thoughtfully engage people with the gospel. [12] Regardless of where one lands on the spectrum of technological use, research shows that presently, fewer people see the value of embodied, in-person discipleship. Still, the Bible is no less authoritative today as it was for the early church, and the command to not neglect meeting together (Heb. 10:25) applies equally to “digital Babylon” as it does to the patristic period. No one is inoculated against the challenges presented by technology. Pastors and church leaders must consider how the weekly gathering forms or impacts church members. Furthermore, they must also consider what it means to counterform their church members (Rom. 12:1-2). One hour each week is insufficient to push back against the overwhelming liturgy of a person’s daily life. More and more technology pulls people into isolation and devalues embodied relationships.[13]

Concluding Thoughts.

It’s important to understand that technology is not wrong. However, in a world marked by technological innovation, we must prioritize in-person relationships as a vital aspect of our spiritual formation. Certainly, technology offers numerous benefits, but it should not replace deep, embodied relationships. Over the next few weeks, I hope to share more thoughts about embodied relationships, technology, and counterformation.

  • [1] Neil Postman (1931-2003) was an author, educator, and media theorist. Postman wrote extensively about the impact of mass communication on society. His field of work has become known as media ecology, which is the study of media environments. The aim of media ecology is to observe how various mediums or methods of communication impact people. Postman’s diagnosis of society and his understanding of technology’s impact on culture is profound and should be considered in any serious conversation regarding technology and culture.

    [2] Neil Postman, Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology (New York, NY: Vintage Books, 1992), 7.

    [3] Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980) was a Canadian philosopher. He is best known for his work in media theory. McLuhan’s seminal work on media theory, greatly impacted Neil Postman. Like Postman, his work should be considered in any serious conversation regarding technology and its impact on society. Marshall McLuhan and Lewis H. Lapham, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, Reprint edition (Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 1994), 7.

    [4] The study cited defines “young person” as those between the ages of 15 and 23. Barna Group, “Digital Babylon.”

    [5] Ibid.

    [6] Barna Group, “Church Dropouts Have Risen to 64%—But What About Those Who Stay?,” Barna Group, 2019, https://www.barna.com/research/resilient-disciples/.

    [7] Barna Group, “Digital Babylon.”

    [8] Ibid.

    [9] McLuhan and Lapham, Understanding Media, 7.

    [10] For a candid example, see Adam Graber’s article from Christianity Today, where he criticized Greear for missing this point completely. Adam Graber, “The Church Medium Is the Message,” ChristianityToday.com, August 9, 2023, https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2023/august-web-only/jd-greear-summit-church-show-tech-worship-production-value.html; Postman and Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death, 18.

    [11] Postman and Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death, 18.

    [12] Pew Research and Barna Group show that most people still prefer to attend in-person services. However, the unspoken reality in both reports is that as much as 60% of people would still attend their church online if the option were available. See “Online Religious Services Appeal to Many Americans, but Going in Person Remains More Popular,” Pew Research Center, 2023, https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2023/06/02/online-religious-services-appeal-to-many-americans-but-going-in-person-remains-more-popular/; Barna Group, “40% of Christians Wouldn’t Attend Their Church If It Was Solely Online,” Barna Group, 2023, https://www.barna.com/.

    [13] Tony Reinke, God, Technology, and the Christian Life (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2022), 282.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’d love to connect if you have any questions, comments, or additional thoughts. If you were helped by something you read, please share it with your sphere of influence. Thanks! 


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