The “One-Another” Commands.
Last week, I shared an article titled Amusing Ourselves to Death: A Call for Embodied Relationship. This week’s article builds on what I shared last week. The point of the entire article was to show a few ways that technology has impacted how we interact with one another. Specifically, technology tends to pull people into isolation and away from meaningful in-person relationships. However, if we hope to cultivate lives of virtue, it will not happen apart from meaningful in-person relationships. My aim for this article is to show you one reason why that is true. I want to show you one reason why it’s absolutely essential to cultivate in-person relationships. The reason has to do with the “one another” commands in the Bible.
The phrase “one another” comes from the Greek word ἀλλήλων, which can mean each other, one another, or mutually. [1] The word occurs one hundred times in the New Testament. Of the one hundred times it occurs, around fifty of those occurrences specifically instruct believers how they are or are not to interact with one another. Certainly, the “one-another” verbs do not comprise everything a believer is responsible for. However, a brief survey of these commands will clarify the sort of community that believers should have with one another. It is a community that is connected and not distant from one another. Of course, it is possible to accomplish many of the “one-another” commands via technology. [2] At times, technology may even enhance one’s ability to carry out the “one-another” commands. However, a closer look at the list of commands makes it clear that all of the commands are carried out best in person, and many are impossible apart from a personal embodied relationship with others. [3] Take, for example, the commands to serve one another (Gal. 5:13), care for one another (1 Cor. 12:25), or show hospitality to one another (1 Pet. 4:9). Each of these commands are hard to imagine apart from embodied relationships. Additionally, commands like forgive one another (Eph. 4:2, 32; Col. 3:13), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), and be patient with one another (Eph. 4:2, Col. 3:13) lose much of their potency when considered outside the context of embodied relationships. [4] These commands assume inconvenience and sacrificial love – a reality one rarely experiences in purely mediated relationships. Furthermore, there is a clear command in Scripture to “address one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19) One can hardly imagine how this would happen if church members only interacted virtually.
The Apostle Paul clearly understood the nature of mediated relationships. Since he was often on the road or in jail, much of his correspondence with churches was through letters. In fact, we have much of the New Testament because Paul could not visit the churches in person. It is safe to say that Paul made full use of the technology available to him. Still, Paul understood the importance of embodied relationships and preferred to speak with people face to face when possible (1 Thess. 2:17-18). [5] The Apostle John used the technology available to him and understood that some things are better communicated in person (2 John 1:12). [6] Those who quickly look to Paul or John’s use of technology as justification for their own, fail to perceive critical differences. [7] This understanding of technology overlooks the need for embodiment and assumes that the content communicated is unaffected by the medium with which it is communicated.
Of course, there are ways to strengthen one’s community using technology and online platforms, but it is impossible to live in obedience to the New Testament or cultivate a life of virtue apart from embodied relationships. [8] Additionally, the command to meet regularly (Heb. 10:25) alone means that apart from in-person, non-mediated relationships, it is impossible to cultivate a virtuous life.
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[1] Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 3rd Edition, ed. Frederick William Danker, 3rd ed. (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2001), 46.
[2] Tim Challies is a pastor and blogger. He writes on a number of theological topics but is known for being an early adopter of blogging and, therefore, has been forced to think critically about mediated communication. Tim Challies, The Next Story: Life and Faith after the Digital Explosion (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 23; Reinke, God, Technology, and the Christian Life, 285.
[3] Thom S. Rainer, I Am a Church Member: Discovering the Attitude That Makes the Difference (Nashville, Tenn.: B&H Books, 2013), 16; Michael A. G. Haykin, The God Who Draws Near, 2nd ed. (Bridgend, Wales: Union Publishing, 2024), 128; Matthew Lee Anderson, Earthen Vessels: Why Our Bodies Matter to Our Faith (Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 2011), 208; J. T. English, Deep Discipleship: How the Church Can Make Whole Disciples of Jesus (B&H Books, 2020), 58.
[4] Haykin, The God Who Draws Near, 128; Challies, The Next Story, 76; Anderson, Earthen Vessels, 216.
[5] Challies, The Next Story, 107.
[6] Haykin, The God Who Draws Near, 128.
[7] For example, Matthew Lee Anderson points out many differences between a video sermon and a letter. He points out that, contrary to what one might expect, a letter that is read live by various people has more depth than a dis-embodied video sermon that is exactly the same each time it is played. Anderson, Earthen Vessels, 218.
[8] Smith, You Are What You Love, 18; MacIntyre, After Virtue, 190; Haykin, The God Who Draws Near, 128; Challies, The Next Story, 107; Anderson, Earthen Vessels, 208.
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