Grace & The Crucifixion
The man was Jewish, early to mid-thirties, and on this day — this final day of his life — he was to be hung on a cross. The hours leading up to his death were terrible and painful. The Roman Empire knew how to inflict pain in a way that kept you alive but made you wish you were dead. This man, this Jewish man, had never experienced pain like what he felt that day. He was beaten and whipped beyond recognition. His family could barely even tell it was him.
He had known this day would be murderous, hellish, and exigent. The very thought set his mind racing with anxiety unlike anything he had ever experienced. The scenes must have played in his mind a thousand times the night before. They would lay him down on rough beam of wood and pin him to it by the hands. Then he would wait. Wait. Wait. He would wait in agonizing pain until the end. He was going to die at the hands of Roman soldiers by crucifixion. Nothing could have prepared him for this.
Then the moment came — the moment he dreaded most. They nailed him to a cross. Every second felt like an eternity. Every nerve in his body writhing in pain. How could people be so good at being so bad — so twisted?
How was his body still alive?
They hung him beside two other men. He wondered what they had done to end up hanging next to him. Then one of the men next to him began to speak.
“I thirst,” the man said.
The solders actually brought the man something to drink from a sponge — he couldn’t believe it. Of course, he was thirsty too, but his pride kept him from speaking the same words. They had taken nearly everything from him — his clothes, his agency, his dignity. Soon they would take his life. The lack of control over his entire situation only hardened his resolve. He would never ask for water, he wouldn’t ask for anything. He would face this terrible death silently, without a word — this one thing he could control.
Every moment was an excruciating fight for breath — for life. He wished he could make his body stop fighting. He wished it would all just be over. As time dragged by, people began to gather around them. He wanted them to go away. He wished they would simply let him die in peace.
He wanted to die.
These were the most wretched moments of his entire life. And this is how he would be remembered. After a while, he became aware that the people around him were mocking. They were saying things like, “Hail! King of the Jews,” and “This man claims to be God let him save himself.”
Suddenly, he realized that it was not a criminal hanging next to him, but Jesus the teacher and miracle worker from Nazareth. The realization only added to his shame. He felt deeply exposed. More than once Jesus had said things like, “Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” More than once, Jesus had known what people were thinking. Did Jesus know what he was thinking — what he had done? He wondered, what would Jesus say about the crimes he’d committed? Jesus had often spoken against the unrepentant hearts of the religious leaders. There was no doubt in his mind. If Jesus knew what he had done — and this was likely — he would be condemned along with the Pharisees.
Next to Jesus, the Other Criminal joined in with the crowd jeering, “Aren’t you the Messiah?” Presently, he found himself mocking along with the Other Criminal. “If you really are who you say, save us. Or was it all simply a hoax?” He thought to himself, why am I speaking? I deserved this punishment. But Jesus, no one had ever taught like Jesus.Jesus was kind and yet he spoke with authority. Jesus challenged the religious leaders and spoke for the marginalized and underprivileged. What had Jesus done to end up in this place? He couldn’t make sense of the situation. His mind, exhausted with fatigue tried to grasp what he was hearing — tried to understand the situation.
Then, Jesus spoke again and said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Forgiveness? These words sent his mind spinning. Was forgiveness possible? For others — maybe. But certainly not for him. He remembered the rumors he’d heard about Jesus. How Jesus had eaten with tax collectors and sinners. How Jesus had offered forgiveness to a woman caught in adultery. Now Jesus was offering forgiveness to the very ones hurling insults at him. Mere men don’t speak like this, he thought. Could that be the reason so many religious leaders where gathered to watch this crucifixion? Shouts from the crowd confirmed his thoughts. “He saved others,” one said. Another cried, “Let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.” The very thought was disorienting. What if Jesus really was the Messiah? No one had ever spoken like Jesus. Were they really trying to kill the Messiah? The man wished he’d spent more time following and listening to Jesus. If he had, perhaps he wouldn’t be in this place — dying. He just wanted to die. The Other Criminal spoke again and said, “You speak like God is your Father, but where is He now? Save yourself and us! You saved others but you can’t even save yourself?”
He couldn’t take it anymore. “Don’t you fear God?” he said. “You and I are getting exactly what we deserve, but this man has done nothing wrong.”
He turned to Jesus and said, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus looked at him and said, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” The man wondered, could mere words spoken by a dying man change his fate? Jesus had spoken so many words during his life that changed people — even raised some from the dead. But Jesus’ words did not take away any of his pain. Each nerve in his body still screamed — he was still exhausted. How much longer would he wait for death? Perhaps not as long as he thought. At that moment, everything around him became dark — the sun stopped shinning. It was as if all Hell had been emptied into this single moment in time. But this moment never ended — it dragged on endlessly. Why wouldn’t his body die? Suddenly, Jesus cried out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Then he stopped breathing. When the centurion below saw what had happened, he said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” And, Jesus was a righteous man, he thought, no one ever spoke like that man.
But could mere words spoken by a dying man change his fate?
Perhaps . . .
• • •
Like one who finds themselves in the middle of a dream the man woke — or rather became aware of his own wakefulness. It was upon him before he had awareness of its beginnings. [1] Where am I? He thought. This was like a dream but dreams are far off, opaque, fleeting. This was solid. Present.
At first, he thought perhaps I have slept late after a long unpleasant dream. [2] But if that were the case, where was his bed and how did he get to this place? The life he had previously experienced, just moments ago, with extreme clarity now felt like a dream and hard to recall. Every ounce of pain was swallowed up instantly by inexpressible joy — presently he began to laugh. Seconds once felt like an eternity. Now, those moments felt like an eternity away and this moment was gloriously heavy (2 Corinthians 4:17). Wherever he was, it truly was paradise. He turned to take in his surroundings and realized that a man stood before him. Memories came flooding back to his awareness. Only seconds ago — or was it an eternity — this man was hanging lifeless next to him on a cross bloodied beyond recognition. But there could be no doubt the man before him — or rather the King before him — was the same man. He felt his knees buckle with gratitude. He cried out, “My Lord and my God.”
King Jesus lifted him up and said, “Come. See the place that I have prepared for you.”
• • •
Ephesians 2:8-9 // For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift — not from works, so that no one can boast.
Throughout the Bible we see clearly that salvation is a free gift of God. It is by grace through faith that we are made alive. Perhaps the best example of this is the thief on the cross. Before meeting Jesus, he was a criminal. He did nothing to merit God’s favor after meeting Jesus nor was he able to — he was dying. The thief was justified by simple faith, which he communicated using eight words: Lord remember me when you come into your kingdoms.His faith expressed by those words changed his life. Right now, he is experiencing the eternal joy of relationship with Jesus.
But grace is like a multifaceted diamond — you can turn it over and over to find new beauties on each side. The thief’s story is like this. Let me give you another facet to consider.
God’s grace met him most profoundly while he hung on a cross. The suffering he experienced — no matter how deserved — is hard to imagine. Yet, this is where God providentially choose to transform him. God grace intersected his life when things were the darkest. It’s baffling to think that the greatest moment of this thief’s life happened on the worst day of his life. He is every bit as happy now as he had been suffering then. Truly he understands, perhaps more poignantly than anyone, what it means to be transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:13). It calls to mind the words of Paul.
2 Corinthians 4:17 // For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I welcome any questions, comments, or additional thoughts you may have. If you were helped by something you read, please share it with your sphere of influence. Thanks!
Some may ask, “Why is the story titled: Grace and Crucifixion?” My answer is this: Where else would the man have met Jesus?
[1] Frank Herbert, Children of Dune (Audible)
[2] J.R.R. Tolkine, The Return of the King, p. 246